Going Postal

Have you noticed how bad things can get without a bit of competition, real competition.

Take the US Postal Service. My post office located in Wallingford has a history with me of providing proof that one does not have to know how to read an address to get hired. Actually, the workers don’t have to read at all.

Put your mail on hold with the option that the “accumulated mail will be delivered when service resumes,” and your held mail arrives a day later. Complain about it and one gets a postal shrug.

Some days, the entire building I live in does not get any mail delivered. Complain about it and one gets a postal shrug.

Trying to use the USPS web site to complain is a joke. Fill out all the required fields, click the submit button, and read the error message that you have to fill the required fields. The web site is broken with no way to contact them to tell them.

The Postal Inspector site is even better: None of the menu options or links work.

I realize that there are times the Postal Service (sic) has to raise rates. But what the hell are the increases going to.

Not web sites that work.

Not employees that can deliver the mail on time.

Not employees that can take a change of address and a stop mail over the phone.

I remember seeing the famous FedEx television ad featuring the old time postal employee talking to the new employee how the new employee had 7,800 days until retirement—while the postal customers waited at the empty service window.

FedEx had to pull the ad after one airing because it hurt the post office’s feelings.

Even if it was dead on.

How about a serious cleaning of the US Postal Service?

What are you doing!

I collect direct mail letters. They are a valuable source of information about the state of the craft. Each letter tells me about the company, organization, and service employing direct mail for sales and contributions.

Nearly all have problems. A lot are pathetic. A few are so bad that, after the initial shock and the cry of “What the hell?!?”, I have to laugh that the letter saw the light of day. I can think of one recent letter for a new magazine “by” a well know Food Network star that completely misses. After reading it, I can say my wallet and checkbook are very safe in my pocket. No reason for me to subscribe even thought this cook is one of my favorites on the network.

Too bad the energy was not invested employing a writer who knows how to write effective sales letters.

An effective sales letter is more than just good grammar and active voice. There is structure that leads the prospect to the order device. This structure motivates the reader to get out his pen and credit card, or turn on his computer and go to the web site, or click on a link, or dial the phone and order the product or service.

An effective letter lifts the financials of a nonprofit through the contributions it generates. The letter helps the homeless, the starving, the subsistence farmer, and the kids and moms endangered by poor living conditions.

An effective letter can protect the dolphin and whale and white seal pup.

But it can only exist if the writer has the knowledge, skills, and experience to produce the letter.

And yes, I am blowing my own horn.